One second I'm on the verge of happiness the next resisting the knocks at my door from traveling life suckers of anger, sadness, resentment. Though I may be a little tired and irritated from having to answer the door to those thoughts that would like to take up residence in my being, I am able to confidently say, "No thank you, I don't need you."
I know this is not just about the first knock on the door when I was told Bruce had been killed. This is about all the years after; part of the result of wounded thinking that took up residence, that paved roads to destruction in my brain paths. This is about restructuring over 3 decades of the loss of self and the thoughts that serve to create health, love and prosperity.
There are times I may be battle weary from skirmishes on the inside-- but I know who will win.
Here's the deal; the bottom line. On September 11, Bruce and Glenda died. There is nothing I can do to bring Bruce back to this earth or change the years I lived among the walking dead. However, today is all there is. Today I see his accepting smile in my hearts eye and I know Glenda has the courage to walk on one step, one day at a time.