Along the way things happened. I learned to do normal every day tasks the 'easy' way, to buy things that make life 'more convenient', and often ignored what I was told was good for me. Like it is with Life, it knocked me on my rear more than once and it got harder and harder to get up. Discouragement, disappointments, losses that seem to make no sense brought on depression, anxiety, a callous attitude. Living in a rut seemed normal cause the people around me seemed to also be rutting out a life of existence.
I think I've made it this far by refusing to accept defeat and I seemed to have a natural ability to resist conformity; even though I rolled around in the mud at swamp level a great deal of my life, I never thought I belonged there. Somehow I managed to hold on to that little mustard seed of faith someone talked about in church during my youth. And now as I take a more in depth look at God and come to terms with God as a much greater entity than I could have possibly imagined, I'm seeking on a more adult level, not so much leaving behind my childhood beliefs, but allowing them to mature. Each day I learn that there is so much I do not know and this adventure I am on...makes me smile.